Welcome to not that mommy
Get the Book
for FREE!

Get some Self-Awareness

the momnibus bill

I never expected us, to be here, as a country.  Four years ago, Colin Kaepernick, former NFL superstar Quarterback, sat on the bench during the National Anthem to protest the constant killings of Black men by police officers. He was vilified, threatened, called a “Son of a Bitch” by the US president and was ultimately black-balled by NFL owners and has never played professional football again. Four years later, after a summer of Black Lives Matter protests, it seems, that White people are tired of all this “racism stuff” and although they tear up when they see a Black man killed on camera, it’s still pretty annoying when the rage of a people burns down their local Target. 

In a poll done by Marquette Law School, respondents in Wisconsin were asked, “Do you approve or disapprove of the mass protests that have been held since the death of George Floyd in Minneapolis?” In June 2020, 61% approved, 36% disapproved and in August it is 48% approve and 48% disapprove. I’m sorry, what? In two months, White people have experienced Racial Battle Fatigue? 

Centering your Feelings: 

Have you ever dated someone who only talks about themselves? How talented they are, smart and how they are the best at their job and always seems to circle the conversation back to themselves? Well… That is what you are all doing right now.  You all said that you wanted to be good allies, wanted to show up and do the work, get to the bottom of what was going on and really delve into the real history of this country, and in three months, it looks like you are looking for a way to quietly slip out the back exit. This is exhausting work, to be hyperaware of your words, actions and privilege can feel like a burden especially when you are dealing with COVID, childcare, work and a flailing economy, But you know what? Black people are dealing with all of that in much more severe ways. COVID is disproportionately killing our family members, a lot of Black people are essential workers and can’t stay home with their kids even though schools are closed, Black people are also more likely to be unemployed due to this economy and oh we are trying to not get killed by the police.  

When you are at work, ask your Black co-worker how they are feeling? If you are a boss, give you Black employees the time and space to take some time off and mentally regroup. Check in with your Black friends. Have you ever heard of the quote, “Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did but only backwards and in heels?” Well that’s us, we are Ginger Rogers and you are Fred Astaire. 

Treat us as Least as well as you would your Dog

When I initially thought about this, I was being facetious, until I realized that was the perfect way to explain it.  Everyone remembers Amy Cooper, the Central Park dog owner who falsely called the cops on Michael Cooper because he asked her leash her dog in a birdwatching area. If you go back and view the comments under the initial upload, I would ask you to count how many White women comment on how she is treating her dog before they comment on how she’s treating Michael Cooper.  

The pet care industry is currently a 72 billion dollar industry, imagine if we spent 10% of that as a country on upgrading and modernizing schools in Black neighborhoods so they were on par with White suburban schools. 

A Sense of Loss

The United States is a country built on capitalism and through capitalism, everyone can’t win. It weeds out winners and losers, people whose families have been winners for decades and centuries will naturally continue to be winners and those who historically have nothing, will have a harder road to climb to get the top. Generational wealth in this country favors White people, through the Slave Trade, immigration and indigenous massacres the wealth of this country tends to lie in White hands.  I’ve found that this is a discussion that definitely makes most White people feel as if I am saying they didn’t earn their positions, jobs, careers, money, etc.  That’s not what I’m saying, here is an example. 

You have two 40 year old women who choose to start a workout program: one is naturally slim, has never really focused on exercise consistently her whole life, eats whatever she wants and has three kids and bounced back to her pre-baby weight, three months after the birth of her kids. The other woman has been battling weight her entire life, she’s been in sports since she could walk, was a high school athlete which allowed her to maintain a healthy body, gained weight in college and had to figure out how to lose it through diet and exercise,  had some health conditions and a child and is working to figure out how to drop 40 lbs. You would agree that the woman who is naturally slim will see results much faster than the woman who has to drop 40 lbs even though they are working out with the same trainer every day? 

White people in America are the slim woman and Black people are the overweight woman who is having to work three times as hard to see the same result. 

We need you in this fight and we need you to not get exhausted.  Your voices, actions and engagement matter.  This has to be the time that United States finally begins to eradicate systematic racism, it is a corrosive force that is a national security threat. Take this weekend to take a breath, relax and regroup with your loved ones and on Monday, jump back in the fight, you are more powerful than you know. 



Leave a Replay

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Tamara Toussaint Owens

Tamara Owens is a confidence coach who helps women tap into their boldest selves. After years of working in corporate America, Tamara became frustrated with the lack of opportunities for women to express their true selves. She saw too many strong women held back by limiting beliefs and decided to take action. When Tamara Owens was laid off from her corporate job, she saw it as an opportunity to pursue her true passion: helping women build confidence and reach their full potential. Owens is a bold and confident woman herself, and she was determined to help other women overcome their limiting beliefs and achieve success on their own terms.

Welcome to not that mommy
Get the Book
for FREE!
Welcome to not that mommy
Get the Book
for FREE!

Subscribe to our newsletter to stay updated.

Ad 300 x 250

Download Your ebook

We hate spam and respect your privacy